I am not a panda!
by Maiko Chinatsu
Summary: It's a slow day at HQ and so minds drift. L contemplates Aizawa's fro, while Light discovers a striking resemblance between L and pandas.


_**Firstly, thank you for reading! For those that are waiting for an update to my other story, I do plan to finish it but it's taking me a bit more time than anticipated. I haven't gotten the hang of writing, uhm...explicit stuff yet and the up coming parts have a lot of that. So don't give up hope yet, it will just take a little more time.**_

_**As for this story it just struck me one day as I was re-watching Death Note. After reading so many fanfics where L is compared to a panda it makes watching the infamous panda cracker scene just that much funnier. Of course I had to use Light to be the wise ass to point it out. Who else?**_

_**I'm not sure how good the writing is, I have quite a few doubts about it so constructive crits are very much appreciated!**_

_**Now that all that's said please enjoy!**_

* * *

It's an afternoon that drags on much like a snail making it's way through a yard; slowly, without a clear line and seemingly without much purpose either. The sun shines meagerly through a haze of clouds, barely visible apart from a small roundish patch of slightly more luminise grey. A soft cadence of muffled voices that are undoubtedly discussing irrelevant matters fills the office. Not surprising when work is so slow. Aizawa, however, seems focused. His head is bent towards his keyboard, his Japanese fro bobbing to the rhythm of typing fingers. The gravity defying hair-do stands up so proudly, so seemingly cheerful that it's almost distracting. Contemplating it certainly is distracting. L is tempted to calculate the chances of being able to convince Aizawa to cut it off. Or at least trim it. Work is slow and his mind seeks entertainment. Even the challenge of a 9.3% chance of being able to convince Aizawa to cut his fro seems like a good way to kill time. L could start off with an anecdote in which the demure hair style of an agent proved a decisive factor in his survival, or in solving the case. He doesn't actually have a story like that, but making it up the would be part of the fun as well. If he can sell this story effectively, the chances of Aizawa cutting his fro increase by 3%. Ugh. It's starting to look like a long term project. The kira case is already more long term than he'd like.  
Without leads on the Kira case the taskforce is left simply doing menial tasks to acquire more data. Something a single agent could do by himself. Instead, the full taskforce is present at head quarters doing nothing but twiddling their thumbs as Matsuda, for once, takes the bulk of work.  
It wouldn't be so bad, L thinks, if his fellow investigators could keep the idle chatter to a minimum. He still has plenty of figures to go over, plenty of theories to consider, or re-consider and dammit, he just doesn't like being bothered when thinking. Or eating for that matter.  
Thankfully Watari is always mindfull of him, he reflects, as his caretaker and oldest companion sets a bowl of animal crackers in front of him.  
L pops one into his mouth, glad for the sugar rush and the comfort of one of his favorite sweets. Now, where was he...

"Ryuuzaki," Light starts from a few desks over, "are those... panda crackers?"

L suspends his hand at mid-way point to his mouth and briefly studies it.

"I believe these are meant to resemble pandas. Why does Light-kun ask? Would he like one? L replies.

He's pleased atleast for succesfully hiding his irritation at being interrupted in both thinking AND eating by the young man who he knows HAS to be Kira.

"It's a bit strange to see you eat panda crackers. It's quite a sight, actually." Light cackles smugly.

"Would Light-kun care to explain why it is strange for me to eat panda crackers?"  
This time disdain seeps through his voice and L just can't be bothered to care.

"Well, you do realise you look somewhat like a panda, don't you? What, with your pale skincolor and those dark circles around your eyes. It's rather comical to see a big panda perched on an officechair eating a bowl of little pandas."  
Light barely gets the last sentence out before doubling over in laughter, dropping all pretence of this being anything other than a joke at L's expense.

"Oh, yes Ryuuzaki!" Matsuda chimes in from the other side of the office," I always thought of you as a cute but dangerous panda!"

_Matsuda, you idiot_, L mentally throws at the oblivious agent, _you just don't know when to keep quiet, do you?!_  
He glances over at Light who by now composed himself enough to sit straight up again. The young man looks at L with a badly restrained grin over matsuda's last contribution to the conversation. L turns his chair to glare at both investigators.  
His fingers tense around the Panda cracker he still holds mid-air, as he starts speaking in a low voice that ominously growls through the office.

"Light-kun, Matsuda-san,"

The cookie shakes under the additional pressure.

"Do. Not. Compare. Me"

A deep crack shoots across it's smooth surface.

"To. PANDAS!"

And the poor panda cracks completely. For good measure L decides to bite its head off too.

Light and Matsuda instantly turn away from the impressive display of animal cracker cruelty and start pretending to work on their computers.  
With a sharp turn of his chair L returns to brooding Light's demise once more, this time biting off panda heads and leaving their decapitated cookie bodies in a pile on his desk.

It's going to be another long afternoon.


End file.
